D/s Contract

D/s CONTRACT

Commencement date: ________________________________________

Dominant: _________________________________________________

Preferred title(s): __________________________________________

submissive: ________________________________________________

Preferred title(s): __________________________________________

1. What we are building

This Contract exists to give shape to a consensual power-exchange relationship. The people signing it are choosing to make authority and surrender more than a vague fantasy: they are defining where power lives, what it may be used for, what it may never be used for, and how the relationship will be protected when intensity makes ordinary communication harder.

The submissive offers surrender because it is wanted. The Dominant accepts authority because it is wanted. Neither role removes responsibility. If anything, a serious dynamic asks more responsibility from both people: more honesty from the submissive, more judgment from the Dominant, and more willingness from both to notice when the reality no longer matches the promise.

2. Non-negotiable principles

1. Consent remains continuous. Either person can pause, reduce or end an activity at any point.
2. Hard limits are not challenges. They remain outside the dynamic unless the person who owns the limit changes it freely, explicitly and outside the pressure of a scene.
3. Soft limits are conditional territory. Curiosity does not equal automatic permission.
4. Safewords and safety signals belong to both people. A Dominant can call yellow or red too.
5. Authority is valid only inside the scope that has actually been granted.
6. No rule in this Contract authorizes abuse, coercion outside the negotiated dynamic, retaliation for withdrawing consent, or isolation from ordinary support systems.
7. Privacy is respected. Disclosure to others is agreed in advance unless health, safety or law requires otherwise.
8. Both people commit to saying what is true, even when the truth is inconvenient to the fantasy.

3. Scope of the power exchange

The dynamic is intended to be:

☐ Scene-based    ☐ Erotic / bedroom D/s    ☐ Part-time ongoing    ☐ High protocol    ☐ 24/7 / lifestyle-oriented    ☐ Other: __________________

Authority may include:

☐ Sexual direction   ☐ Service   ☐ Rituals / protocol   ☐ Dress / presentation   ☐ Posture / forms of address   ☐ Tasks   ☐ Check-ins   ☐ Training   ☐ Discipline   ☐ Restraint   ☐ Orgasm control   ☐ Other: __________________

Areas explicitly outside the Dominant’s authority:
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________

If words such as ownership, property, Master/slave, Mistress/slave or possession are used, they are understood as chosen relational and erotic language. They do not erase legal personhood, bodily autonomy or the continuing right to withdraw consent.

4. What the roles mean here

The Dominant is not merely the person who gets what they want. The Dominant is accepting leadership inside the agreed territory. That may include directing, training, rewarding, correcting, restraining, setting protocol, assigning service or controlling selected erotic experiences. The more authority is granted, the more seriously the Dominant must take the effect of their decisions.

The submissive is not a passive object. The submissive is actively choosing obedience, service or surrender inside the agreed territory. They commit to sincere participation, honest communication and a real effort to follow rules that have meaning. submission is not an agreement to hide distress, accept resentment silently or pretend that every instruction feels good.

Both roles require character. A Dominant who cannot hear “no” is not stronger for it. A submissive who never says what is wrong is not serving the dynamic by making it impossible to lead them well.

5. Duration and review

This Contract begins on the Commencement Date and continues for:

☐ One scene   ☐ One month   ☐ Three months   ☐ Six months   ☐ One year   ☐ Open-ended   ☐ Other: __________________

First formal review date: _____________________________________

At review, ask more than “are we still happy?” Discuss which rules feel alive, which have become theatre, where resentment or pressure has appeared, what has deepened trust, what has changed sexually, and whether the balance of authority still fits both people.

6. When the dynamic is active

Agreed times / contexts:
____________________________________________________________________________

Contexts where ordinary relationship interaction takes priority:
____________________________________________________________________________

Remote tasks, reporting or check-ins:
____________________________________________________________________________

A 24/7 label does not mean every second feels like a scene. Define what remains continuous—perhaps forms of address, service, orgasm permission or decision-making—and what clearly switches off around work, children, family, illness, driving, conflict or other responsibilities.

7. Responsibilities of the Dominant

• Exercise authority deliberately rather than impulsively.
• Respect hard limits, safewords and changed consent immediately.
• Learn the risks and limitations of any equipment or activity introduced.
• Give clear expectations when service, protocol or behaviour is being evaluated.
• Never disguise uncontrolled anger as discipline.
• Watch the submissive’s physical and emotional state instead of relying only on verbal endurance.
• Invite honest feedback without punishing the honesty.
• Protect privacy and discretion.
• Provide aftercare or space according to what has actually been agreed, not according to stereotype.
• Be willing to apologize and repair when judgment was wrong.
• Remember that authority is not proof of infallibility.

8. Responsibilities of the submissive

• Communicate limits, injuries, relevant health information and emotional changes honestly.
• Make a sincere effort to follow agreed instructions and protocols.
• Use safewords or safety signals when needed rather than treating endurance as a test of devotion.
• Do not agree to rules you already know you intend to resist outside the consensual play of the dynamic.
• Say when a task or consequence is creating resentment rather than growth.
• Respect the Dominant’s limits, vulnerabilities and right to stop.
• Take responsibility for ordinary life decisions that remain outside the transferred authority.
• Participate in reviews and debriefs with the same honesty expected during negotiation.

9. Rules, protocols and rituals

The purpose of a rule should be understood. Some rules create erotic tension. Some build service. Some provide structure. Some are symbolic. Rules that exist only because “a submissive should” quickly become dead weight.

Standing rules:
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________

Protocols / rituals:
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________

How new rules are introduced and reviewed:
____________________________________________________________________________

10. Discipline, correction and punishment

Agree on what these words mean before using them. Erotic “punishment” for pleasure is not the same as a consequence for breaking an agreed rule. Real relationship conflict is something else again.

Discipline may include:
____________________________________________________________________________

Discipline may never include:
____________________________________________________________________________

Consequences should be proportionate, understood and followed by repair where needed. If either person is genuinely angry, pause before exercising erotic authority. A dynamic should not become a convenient way to avoid ordinary conflict skills.

11. Sexual and erotic authority

Agreed areas of erotic authority:
____________________________________________________________________________

This may include initiation, positions, service, dress, toys, orgasm control, chastity, masturbation rules, forms of address, roleplay or other activities. List the territory clearly enough that “you belong to me” does not become a vague excuse for assuming consent to something never discussed.

12. Hard limits, soft limits and curiosities

Dominant hard limits:
____________________________________________________________________________

submissive hard limits:
____________________________________________________________________________

Conditional / soft limits and the conditions attached:
____________________________________________________________________________

Areas of curiosity that require separate negotiation:
____________________________________________________________________________

13. Exclusivity and other partners

Relationship structure: ☐ Monogamous ☐ ENM ☐ Polyamorous ☐ Other: __________

What exclusivity means sexually, romantically and within D/s:
____________________________________________________________________________

Do not assume that romantic exclusivity, sexual exclusivity and D/s exclusivity are identical. A couple may be open sexually but exclusive in ownership language, or the reverse. Define it.

14. Health, safer sex and risk

Testing / barrier agreements:
____________________________________________________________________________

Relevant health conditions, medications or injuries:
____________________________________________________________________________

Activities requiring specialist knowledge or separate risk planning:
____________________________________________________________________________

Consent to risk is meaningful only when both people understand enough about the risk to make the decision. Enthusiasm does not make an activity medically safe.

15. Safewords and safety signals

Green / continue: __________________    Yellow / adjust: __________________    Red / stop: __________________

Non-verbal signal: __________________________________________

Yellow is information, not failure. Red ends the activity without debate. Both Dominant and submissive can use the system. If a person becomes non-verbal, confused, unusually compliant or physically compromised, the other person does not wait passively for a safeword before acting.

16. Aftercare and debrief

Immediate aftercare preferences—Dominant:
____________________________________________________________________________

Immediate aftercare preferences—submissive:
____________________________________________________________________________

Follow-up timing: ____________________________________________

Aftercare may be affection, quiet, food, water, warmth, reassurance, space, sleep or very little at all. A later debrief should ask what felt good, what landed differently than expected, and what should change next time.

17. Privacy and records

What may be shared, photographed, written down or stored:
____________________________________________________________________________

What remains completely private:
____________________________________________________________________________

Consent to an experience is not automatically consent to documentation or public storytelling about it.

18. Conflict, pause and termination

Either person may request a pause in the dynamic. During a pause, ordinary relationship communication takes priority over protocol. No punishment or retaliation follows from requesting a review or ending the Contract.

How we will request a pause: __________________________________

How belongings, collars, keys, images or private records will be handled if the dynamic ends:
____________________________________________________________________________

19. Closing declaration

We are not signing away autonomy. We are choosing a structure because we believe it can make trust, desire, service, authority and surrender more intentional. We accept that the Contract must remain alive enough to change when the people inside it change.

Dominant signature: ___________________________________ Date: __________

submissive signature: _________________________________ Date: __________

APPENDIX 1 — Rules, protocols and rituals

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APPENDIX 2 — Hard limits

____________________________________________________________________________
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APPENDIX 3 — Soft limits and conditional activities

____________________________________________________________________________
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APPENDIX 4 — Scene safety and aftercare

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